Monday

Going in for 2 crowns this morning, since my body continues the ever easier process of falling apart. Last weekend, part of my tooth broke off, like literally came off while I was chewing a piece of soft bread. This past weekend (yesterday) I got a clogged milk duct.

Few things are as terrible for this breast-feeding woman as a clogged duct, which will inevitably lead to antibiotics, which will in turn lead to... other not so pleasant bodily reactions. I spent hours last night massaging my boob and spraying renegade milk all over the house in futile attempts at relieving the clog, which ended with me crying in a hot shower- one last attempt to ease the pain and pressure, to no avail. 

The final act of a desperate lady:

Lying in bed, after a tense evening and talk with the husband, after about ten minutes of silence:

"Will you do me a favor?" I said.

"Sure."

"Will you suck on my boob?"

Silence.

30 seconds later. 

"That's a strange request."

"Never mind."

Dear Universe, 

Would you please give me one week with no sick children, no pink eye (me or my children), no sick husband, no mouth malfunctions, no allergy suffering, no painful boobs, and a few nights of sleeping straight til 5?

Forever yours,

Fiber girl